I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
