I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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