I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Oh god it's open bar.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize