Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
