I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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