God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
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Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
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I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
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