he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.