I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now