the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
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I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
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Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.