i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Randomize
