I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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