Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
