At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize