Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Slut skills are useful in every country.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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