david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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