3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
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Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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