u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Terrible idea I love it
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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