my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Everything about him screamed your future.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
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After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
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Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize