I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
27 Drunk People That Pissed Off The Cops And Got What They Deserved
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
These 25 Soulless Industries Have Been Scamming Us For Years
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto