Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??