the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.