K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize