He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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