just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize