I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?