For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I have already put on my inside pants.
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