Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
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