4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
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