Nicole vs. Life
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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