well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
