yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize