I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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