What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
