My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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