i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize