I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Randomize