YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I puked a lego.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
