Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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