Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
We need a shit load of segways right now
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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