dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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