is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Randomize
