Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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