even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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