I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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