Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
