So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
