The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
