I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
