i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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