She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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