I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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