so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.