Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
