bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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